So last Saturday I was studying for a test I took yesterday. I live in a one-bedroom apartment so when I need a break I walk the floors of my apartment building, just to move around. While I'm doing this I run into my new neighbor that moved in across the hall. I say "Hey, Happy Halloween." He says "Hi". I then walk into my apartment and that was all we've ever said to each other.

Fast forward to last night. I get home at about 10PM and see a letter folded up with my name on it next to my apartment door. It's from my new neighbor and friend. Here it is:

http://i144.photobucket.com/albums/r194/doc1167/TheLetter.jpg.

So he apparently went online and looked up my name, and the fact that I'm 100% german somehow. My last name sounds mildly german, but not enough to narrow it down instantly. Now he wants to have a sauna with me and go to his son's play.

So what would you do fazed? Is this weird, or is it just me? I think I'll chat with him next time I see him (not in the sauna) just to see what's up, but hopefully that doesn't lead to him looking up my family tree and becoming a full blown stalker. Someone who writes this kind of letter after saying "Hi" seems a bit off their rocker immediately. I'll keep you updated on what happens. 

check the white pages on HIM 

whatever happens, always carry a camera.

i need entertainment. 

he's out to steal your electric. 

I tried to whitepages him actually, but since he just moved in it still comes up with my old neighbors.

Also, the fact that he sends his 16 year old son to the private high school in town makes me think he can't be completely mad-hatter insane... 

3 words:

lampshade made out of your skin 

Dude he has a convertible?
Jump in! 

http://s3.amazonaws.com/images.dopetracks.com/profiles_images/201798/you_gonna_g et_raped_medium.jpg 

This is great. This is the male version of single white female.

WISCHEN Sie aus!! 

Taking rides with strange men in fancy cars has never ended any other way than great for me.
Hell, I paid for college one year for one hour on the parkway. 

well, if he tries to rape you, make sure that he tosses your salad right after he blows his load in your ass. 

sauna in the convertible, and if he says thats not possible, hate him forever 

I bet he's Mormon. 

This brings up a good question: How many of you know your neighbors well enough to hang out with them each other's domicile?

I think Americans are so cautious and paranoid these days that no one talks to anyone anymore without thinking they the other person has ulterior motives or that everything is creepy.

Jerry Seinfield: What's up with that? 

well, usually when my neighbors want to know more about me, they ask me instead of googling me and my heritage 

I met my current roommate through the neighbor across the street.
So I'm pretty cool with him and walk right into his house all the time.
he comes over here slightly less often because hes askeered of our dogs, but still makes the trek from time to time. 

We invite our neighbors to parties.
Its kind of creepy though when they actually come because we live in a neighborhood with families.
And Iranians. 

I was hoping to run into him as I left for class this morning, but no such luck. I won't be home until later again.

As for FDS's question, I don't know any of my neighbors that well, but it's because they're mostly 70+ and we don't have anything in common. 

I think it's pronounced Iranians. 

I think you're right and I'm wrong. 

Maybe he's German and just has really bad English so he typed a letter. 

Have you ever listened to a German person speak?
Germans have bad German much less any second language.
Maybe he's down with the mass suicide that needs to take place. 

I'm going to be out of the state this weekend, so I won't be able to see his son's play unfortunately. 

That last bit about getting to know you better followed by several options for hanging out seems oddly desperate.
I'd stick with coffee in a public place, close to home, if I were to do anything.
Who knows, maybe it's jesus, here to test you.
or it could be satan, here to analrape you. 

I'm thinking about taking him up on the run. That seems the most public. 

D0C SCOTT said:

I'm going to be out of the state this weekend, so I won't be able to see his son's play unfortunately.

You are such a douche! 

Steve

Are you a registered sex offender?

Scott 

Just go for coffee, that's always boring anyway, he'll at least spice it up. 

I think going for a run is a little more personal than coffee.
but I dont like running or being around sweaty people so that might just be my insecurities.
just don't let him help you stretch your hamstrings.
or do, I guess you could be into that sort of thing.

at least with coffee you can read or something if shit gets awkward. 

What does he look like? Describe him. 

I bet he's gay and thinks you're hot 

You should send him a letter back.

Make sure you spray it with some of your best cologne. 

Put a little something extra on it, too. In case he runs a black light over it. It's not like it's out of the realm of possibility after his previous reconnaissance. 

send a return letter describing how even though you won't be able to attend the sons plays
you've been watching his rehearsals
and his walks home
and his studying in the library, alone
and him eating breakfast
and his bedtime work-outs (20 push ups 20 sit ups every night)
and bathroom crying over the pressure of being 16

and you're sure he'll be great on stage! 

To far man... toooooo far. 

"Once Upon a Mattress"

That seems wrong somehow 

If I was a betting man, I'd put money on him not having a kid.

You said hi, and he leaves a letter with seven options to hang out and do.

Seven.

He's gay. Or strongly considering it.
If that doesnt bug you, go for it. 

Maybe he's German and just has really bad English so he typed a letter.

I lived in Germany for a couple years - no way this guys German. He'd have to live next to you for a decade before he even acknowledged your existence! No, the more likely explanation is that he is a terrorist behaving as he imagines Americans behave to gain your trust. Or a religious zealot looking to make a sale. 

I don't think the issue then would be so much that he is gay, but that he is lying in order to further his homosexual agenda.

Either that or he is recently divorced/widowed, still reeling from all the emotional trauma of that process, and is simply looking for a friend via some socially awkward maneuver. 

masterblaster said:

If I was a betting man, I'd put money on him not having a kid.

Exactly what I was thinking, he has probably been arrested for sex with a minor and wants your assistance finding more targets via multiple courses of action. 

fashion him a return letter
where you generically explain that all his previous victims talk to you in your sleep
and they have many more suggestions of the things you could do together 

take it to the who's getting laid thread!
but seriously
Could be worse

Hi I'm Steve with the church of march around and annoy people.
I was just wondering if you accepted the lord as your savior?
You should change your religion because mine is the right one!
I will pray for you!

 

Dooky could probably give you some advice on this matter. 

masterblaster said:

If I was a betting man, I'd put money on him not having a kid.

You said hi, and he leaves a letter with seven options to hang out and do.

Seven.

He's gay. Or strongly considering it.
If that doesnt bug you, go for it.

I don't know about the part with the kid, but this is what I was thinking the second I finished reading that letter.

I don't think that it should be the only opinion of the guy though.
He might just be socially retarded and reaching out.

for your dck 

He does have a kid....or at least I've seen him with a kid before. 

Coffee? Tea? A smoothie? Fisting? A ride in my convertible? 

The dude has got some game. 

Also, I do enjoy running, and I occasionally just walk around the neighborhood to relax.
Both of which make me think he's watching me. 

D0C, are you hot in a muscular, tanned, oiled, bulging crotch kind of way? 

He wants to wear your skin as a vest.