Sexy Beast

Ghandi has a nasty side! Who knew? Ben Kingsley plays a tornado of a criminal who goes to Spain to recruit an old retired colleague for a big job. I've never seen anything like it and I'm pretty sure you haven't either.

Review - Three and one half Bones 

[u]Losing Liza[/u]

Drinking yourself into oblivion after your wife kills herself is for pussies. Plus, it's got P.S.H. as the lead. See it. 

Eddie and the Cruisers

Over the years, my feelings for this movie have changed. When I saw Eddie and his Cruisers years ago, I loved them. I thought Eddie was cute and cool, the music fun and the plot genius. This time? Not so much. I thought Eddie was a dork, the music was too Springsteiny and the plot was pulled out of a random story generator. I bet Ladya thinks Eddie is dreamy though.

Review - Two homo cocks 

[u]Brazil[/u]

See it so you can say that you did. I give it two blotters and an ether chaser. 

You fuck.

From: baz is Donnie Dorko
Date: 11/22/04 @ 2:39 PM 96

Brazil.

[inline] bizarre-movie-reviewer.8m.com/brazil8.jpg

Go see this movie right now.

Review - Two Monster, Viagra Induced, Erections

 

You fuck.

I don't backread, bitch. 

[u]Birthday Girl[/u]

My kind of love story and Nicky Kidman as a Russian mail-order bride. What's not to enjoy? 

I don't backread, bitch.

Fucking savage. 

[u]Dog Day Afternoon[/u]

Pacino before he got all Pacino on every role. Attica! Attica! 

From: medisconna is rocking on your dime
Date: 11/24/04 @ 10:50 AM 109

Dog Day Afternoon

Pacino before he got all Pacino on every role. Attica! Attica!

I always wonder what the people of the time thought about that. Here's Pacino, as a big tough bank robber.

what? HE ROBBED IT FOR *HER*?!?!?!? Fucked up. His "wife" needed that money though...

/no spoilers. You know what I mean. 

It was a groundbreaking movie on the subject matter. 

[u]Badlands[/u]

Martin Sheen. Sissy Spacek. Two kids in love kill the family et al across the plains states. You like cinematography? Got it. You like acting w/o unnecessary dialogue? Got it. Superb performances throughout. 

DDA is a story of love and desperation. Gotta love that - it's about life. 

^ great movie, a predecessor to "Natural Born Killers". 

Err Badlands that is. 

"But I'm a Cheerleader"

This movie seriously blew. I rented it hoping it would be some cult comedy that noone knows about, instead you get humor so dry that it kills itself. And then you'll want to kill yourself. For actually sitting through the entire piece of crap because you paid for it. The premise to the whole film is the only thing that might actually give a chuckle. 

"But I'm a Cheerleader"

Ugly Dyke fiasco as it was formerly know.. Pure crap it was. 

[u]Drop Dead Gorgeous[/u]

Funny. Under-rated. Fazers will love it. It's got that whole Best In Show feel, but with chicks instead of dogs. 

^^He speaks the truth. This movie kicks ass and waaay underrated. It's humor is kind of like Very Bad Things, or Say It Ain't So. Two more very underrated movies. 

I have not yet watched Grannies, Fatties, Pregnant Bitches & A Midget to Boot, but I'll be sure to review it once I have. If I can bring myself to watch it, anyway. 

Sexy Beast

Ghandi has a nasty side! Who knew? Ben Kingsley plays a tornado of a criminal who goes to Spain to recruit an old retired colleague for a big job. I've never seen anything like it and I'm pretty sure you haven't either.

Review - Three and one half Bones

Agreed. 

Crooky - I'd like to apologize for medisconna's behavior in this thread. He's an attention whore of the worst kind. And not even funny to boot. 

someone start an alexander thread so we can discuss the homosexual overtones and blood curdiling decapitations. 

some pretty funny movie reviews... im sure many of you have read them

http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=five_shitty_movies 

http://thebestpageintheuniverse.com/signs.html

even more funny 

Crooky - I'd like to apologize for medisconna's behavior in this thread. He's an attention whore of the worst kind. And not even funny to boot.

All sins are forgiven, my son. God told me to forgive you.

someone start an alexander thread so we can discuss the homosexual overtones and blood curdiling decapitations.

All sins are forgiven, my son. God told me to forgive you.

Also, Maddox sucks goat cock. Never was funny. Never will be. 

Alexander chronicles, poorly, through a choppy back and forth sequences, the life of Alexander the Great.

Unlike the epic battle scenes of TROY, Alexander, the movie, has roughly two battle sequences with blurred images of horses, elephant, men, and blood. Moments of frantic movement with crystal clear, yet brief, scenes of violence flood this cinematic experience.

The overtones of wine, women and men breach the lives of the Greeks, who according to the narrating historian, are controlled and practice moderation.

Oliver has, as it would seem from his directorial history, a taste for violence, sex, and power. I have enjoyed "Any Given Sunday" but the rest of his films are filled more vices than virtues.

Juxtaposing the History Channel's documentary on Alexander the Great and Oliver Stone's movie I see one documentary as the other a docu-drama with speculation, alterations and explicit content.

Leaving the theater I was grieved that a man with such great leadership and resources, while still founding one of the greatest libraries, educating the barbarians and bringing peace to warring nations was unable to quench his thirst for power and fame. Sin truly has conquered us all. 

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0369994/

Not really a review, but more of a movie related OMFG.

Strangers with Candy, the movie, is in post production. 

yea, that should be good. 

Sponge Bob Square Pants. Sponge Bob, while offering some live action adventure, remains a solid cartoon but lacking any reason for being on the big screen. Pirates shouldn't cry either.

The jokes are great and one great reason to see it, if any, is that I am not given a 15 minute "story", if as an adult I can call a sea sponge and his dim-witted friend Patrick Starfish a plot-centric movie. With new characters introduced, the King and his daughter, who I have no desire to see again, Sponge Bob may have actually jumped the shark and sold out and tainted the wonderful Bikini Bottom

SB, more so than Patrick, seemed to be femenized, possibly for laughs but I began to wonder, as he prances, dances and spins whenever a serious moment presents itself.

For the fans of the show they will most likely enjoy. If you don't like SBSP and his cast, short of possibly taking younger children, I'd suggest avoiding this movie. 

The jokes are great and one great reason to see it, if any, is that I am not given a 15 minute "story", if as an adult I can call a sea sponge and his dim-witted friend Patrick Starfish a plot-centric movie. With new characters introduced, the King and his daughter, who I have no desire to see again, Sponge Bob may have actually jumped the shark and sold out and tainted the wonderful Bikini Bottom

SB, more so than Patrick, seemed to be femenized, possibly for laughs but I began to wonder, as he prances, dances and spins whenever a serious moment presents itself.

Call a rescue team, there must be some english in there somewhere.

Crank up a crane,
see if we can drag some nouns and verbs out. 

http://imdb.com/title/tt0293508/
Another movie-related OMFG, as SGL puts it...Phantom is one of those things that I check every few months on IMDB to see if they're making a movie of it yet, but it caught me totally by surprise when I saw the trailer in the theatre this last week. Good thing it was dark enough that nobody saw me orgasming all over myself... 

Call a rescue team, there must be some english in there somewhere.

Crank up a crane,
see if we can drag some nouns and verbs out.

it's been a long day :( 

Mira Nair's Monsoon Wedding is one to watch with your lady.
It's just plain good. Watch it with subtitles, though.
Indians speaking English... yikes. 

that movie just proves that a single whole fried ham delivered to Roger Ebert's doorstep could launch a movie from obscurity to acclaim.

this movie reveals little more than the fact that the "Love Boat" had a profound influence on indian romantic comedies.

If you take rabbi's advice and watch the movie with your ladyboy, bring a yack sack...the camera wobbles so much that the movie looks like a home wedding filmed by a drunk uncle who refused to let the camera stop rolling.

Great choice rabbi. 

Saved is a good movie. 

true^ 

^false 

[u]the ghost and the darkness[/u]

go rent it now........... now damn it

in fact buy the mofo 

Sideways

This movie is fantastic. Paul Giamatti stars as Miles, a depressed California English teacher stuck in the bowels of a mid-life crisis. His wife divorced him, he lives in a crappy little apartment, and the novel he has spent his life on is unpublished. He is also a fine wine expert prone to getting drunk. His old college roommate Jack (Thomas Haden Church) is just the opposite. He is a struggling actor hitting a high point in his life – a marriage to a beautiful woman and a definitive non-acting job with her father.

All great comedians say that comedy comes from pain. This seems to be an angle screenwriter/director Alexander Payne is working from in Sideways. The film is about shattered spirits, broken dreams, low self-esteem, mid-life crisis, and finally, just trying to make sense of it all to get back on the right track. It's probably Alexander Payne's most emotionally effective film to date but most definitely his funniest.

There are some sidesplitting, funny laughs here, too, like Jack's description of how he got away from the husband of a woman he tried to bang, and an even funnier scene where Miles must get Jack's wallet back while the woman and her husband are having sex.

Thomas Haden Church is the surprise here, though. Who ever thought Lowell from "Wings" would get a part in a big name dramatic comedy? And who would have thought he would be perfect for it? The horny sidekick is always a homerun in a comedy and Church is the perfect blend of self-centered jerk and free sprit with a zest for life.

I highly recommend. 

nobody go see Alexander, its 3hrs of long,slow,drive you insane boringness 

Great review Andrea from Rocky Mountains. 

nobody go see Alexander, its 3hrs of long,slow,drive you insane boringness

I kind of agree. It was long and a little slow, and the acting wasn't exactly all there. However it was highly entertaining. The cinematography was unreal, even if some of the battle shots were a little to wide. I absolutley love that scene where alexander's horse rears back at the exact same time as the elephant. You see just how small the horse and alexander are compared to the mighty beast. This perfectly illustrates how amazing his conquest of the majority of the known world was. He was just one man and in his twenties against the world.
That one shot completely made the movie for me. That and Angelina Jolie is fucking hot in it. 

^I give it 2/4 stars. wait for the video release. 

Sideways

Gotta see it. Paul Giamatti is awesome. 

I smell Oscar for Giamatti. 

I will put my review in for a movie I saw on cable this weekend on encore, or one of those freebie movie stations. The movie was called "October Sky" and came out in 1999. It is a true story about 4 kids growing up in a mining town in Virginia in the late 50's. The four kids decide they don't want to work in the coal mine, and set their sights on NASA, because of the Russian Sputnik that was launched then. I thought it was an awesome movie, and both me and the wife give it "two thumbs up and an aound the world and a whistle." 

Sexy Beast

Its all about Ghandi saying "cunt" throughout the entire movie. 

I am officially tired of Sponge Bob Square Pants. 

From: welloverpar

Dude, go blow a load in my pomade.
Mira Nair is widely recognized as a very skilled director.
Hold your breath until you're no longer a prick.