I see a lot of threads come up saying "This movie is the greatest" or "That movie blows rotten goat corpses." I, for one, respect and admire your collective cinematic critiques and would like to them in one place. That place is here. The time is now.

I'll start the ball rolling:

Saved (2004)
http://www.cinemasavvy.com/s/images/saved.jpg
This movie was great. They seem like Jesus freak stereotypes but let me assure you, as someone who was forced to spend a lot of time with kids like these when I was in HS (I was a bad kid and my parents thought making me hang out with the Jesus freaks would straighten me out but they have no idea how many Xian bitches I converted to the dark art of Sodom), there is some truth to these stereotypes. Very funny movie. I laughed out loud several times while watching this. McCauly Caulkin in humble and great.
Crooky says "*** (TWEE STAWS!)"

Also liked:
Equilibrium
The Lady Killers
The Big Lebowski
Being Julia
The Snow Walker 

Saved (2004)

yea, I saw that last weekend. Great movie. 

You didn't say which way would be the best way to bang Mandy Moore. 

Ladykillers was great up until the end, which blew enough rotten goat corpses to negate the rest of the movie.

And Saved pissed me off on so many levels...I don't generally think the point of a movie is to make me hate EACH of the characters...I tend to prefer when at least ONE has a redeeming feature or two. 

Equilibrium

This is a great film 

Something's Gotta Give (2003)
http://www.reelmoviecritic.com/20038q/405befe0.png
I thought About Schmidt was a piece of schmidt so it was with some trepidation that I watched Something's Gotta Give. I was pleasantly surprized by this chick flick. Normally, any love story movie makes me retch until I burst a blood vessle in my eye but this movie is very funny. Jack Nicholson is a mid-60s record label exec trying to live the rockstar lifestyle and Dianne Keaton is a succesful playwrite. Their love story is laugh out loud funny at times. Good story. Lots of plot twists and something that I value in any story - a representation of human emotions that normal people can relate to.
Crooky sez "** 1/*! (TOO AND ONE OVER STAR STARS!)" 

The Brown Bunny (2003)
http://www.galloappreciation.com/media/poster1s.jpg

This movie was just okay. It's about a motorcyclist driving in his van to California. A lot of the movie is comprised of him driving around. Great ideas but terrible execution. It had an interesting ending, but probably was not worth the money I paid. A better Vincent Gallo movie is Buffalo '66 go see that instead. Oh, and for the perverts, you do get to see a very explicit scene in which Chloe Sevigny goes down on Gallo's giant throbbing cock.

2.5/4 

http://www.fazed.net/forum/?p=slorum&id=15181&page=1#position39

Lick mah NUTS!!!!!! 

that thread cant be posted in anymore
but these types of threads never work anyway
good luck crooky
oh hows leela? 

I seriously need to lay off of the paint chips.... 

Sorry for the insult, but it's just not fair! everyone bitches when I make a thread that it's TOO consolidated and not a good idea, but the second someone like crooky makes a thread, god forbid we don't LOVE IT EVEN IF IT'S THE SAME THING SOMEONE ELSE ALREADY MADE! but whaterver, I'm an adult and I've learned to live tiwh compromise. Good luck with the thread.

It's not my fault that I'm good at rallying people around lost causes. Want me to plan your birthday party this year? 

No, how about your relationships with women? Seems like a pretty lost cause to me. 

I recently saw SAW and it was awesome. 

I'd like to see-saw. 

I recently saw SAW and it was awesome.

Come on? That doctor? Worst actor ever. 

I wouldn't say Cary Elwes is a terrible actor. But he did do a pretty bad job in some choice moments in that particular film. 

So... is Saw worth Seeing? 

any reviews for the grudge? 

any reviews for the grudge?

The Grudge (2004)
I didn't see it but the trailers look like it has potential. I would recommend it to a friend.
Crooky says "*** (FEE STAWS!)" 

any reviews for the grudge?

Just saw it a few minutes ago...I not only want my two hours back, I want back the surrounding few hours that the black hole of awfulness that this movie is sucked into itself and wasted, even though they were productive. It felt like actually wasted more time than it took to watch. 

i saw that sarah michelle gayller is the star. it automatically turned me off but the trailer looks scary :( 

DiG! (2004)
http://www.moviepoopshoot.com/elsewhere/images/2004/jan19/dig.jpg

The best movie I've seen in a long time. Documents seven years of friendship and hatred between The Dandy Warhols and The Brian Jonestown Massacre. Lots o' drugs, sex, and rock n' roll. You'll probably have to find an arthouse theater to see this movie, but believe me, it'll be worth it.

5 Stars 

Zatoichi
http://www.caratulasdecine.com/Caratulas/Zatoichi.jpg

If you like stylized Japanese sword violence this movie is pretty cool. There are also some cool stomp like beat performances. Comedy, tragedy, violence, and japanese gangsters, i know what youre thinking. "this movie needs a big dance routine finale" well you are right, and you wont be disapointed.

hes blind, and he kicks ass with a sword, isnt that reason enough?

why did i inline the spanish poster? why not?

japanese audio with english subs is how i liked it. however the dubs arent too bad, just not my cup o tea.

4/5 

Tadanobu Asano and Beat Takeshi kick ass, I can't wait to see The New Blind Swordsman 

"Something's Gotta Give" sucked so bad. I've come to loathe Diane Keaton - she always plays the same 'self-concious befuddled giggle' character, plus her eyes have always looked liked they're melting off her face. There is absolutely no plausibility in either her character or Jack Nicholson attracting the young, good looking counterparts (Keanu & Amanda) - there's simply no fucking way that would ever happen. 

"Something's Gotta Give" sucked so bad. I've come to loathe Diane Keaton - she always plays the same 'self-concious befuddled giggle' character, plus her eyes have always looked liked they're melting off her face. There is absolutely no plausibility in either her character or Jack Nicholson attracting the young, good looking counterparts (Keanu & Amanda) - there's simply no fucking way that would ever happen.

Who shit in your cornflakes? 

Thanks, crook, I had been thinking about buying saved, now I will. 

Who shit in your cornflakes?

Too harsh? 

Too harsh?

All I'm saying is that if Diane Keaton wanted to fuck me, I'd fuck her. Did you see her tits? They're pretty good. 

"Something's Gotta Give" sucked so bad.

I loathe that movie and Lost In Translation.
NOTHING HAPPENED IN EITHER MOVIE!!!!!! 

All I'm saying is that if Diane Keaton wanted to fuck me, I'd fuck her. Did you see her tits? They're pretty good.

I'll give her credit for aging gracefully. She's not done the plastic surgery/desperate routine, she wears her age proudly and without excuse - now that is a real woman IMHO.

[/rethinks previous rant] 

I'll give her credit for aging gracefully. She's not done the plastic surgery/desperate routine, she wears her age proudly and without excuse - now that is a real woman IMHO.

So now you're saying that a movie you previously thought sucked has now been miraculously improved because some dust-riddled pre-mummy flashes her flat tires?

Wow. I think I'll double pass. 

I'll give her credit for aging gracefully. She's not done the plastic surgery/desperate routine, she wears her age proudly and without excuse - now that is a real woman IMHO.

I think she's hotter now at her age in comparison to other women her age, than she was when she was young (in the Godfather) in comparison to women her age at that time. 

Elf is a fucking awesome movie, one of the funniest I've seen, and it's finally out, so get it today! 

Beat Takeshi kicks ass

 

Elf is a fucking awesome movie

I think the movie wouldn't have sucked so bad if they'd have continued through the whole movie with the little toy animals from the beginning. 

Scarlet Street was awesome.

Currently in the middle of Asphalt Jungle.

http://www.eskimo.com/~noir/ftitles/asphalt/asphalt03.jpg
Marilyn Monroe in an early role :P 

I got dragged out to see Shall We Dance by my wife.

Fuh..King...Awful. J-lo's butt had a few good jiggles, but she remains fully clothed the entire movie. My drunkass was so bored that if I hadn't of been heavily "medicated" I would have pulled my teeth out in dispair.

My wife, of course, really liked it. Not loved, but liked it. Hell, she likes any kind of dancing that isn't cuntry or western. 

I got dragged out to see Shall We Dance by my wife.

Seen the original? It was decent, but slow. 

I got dragged out to see Shall We Dance by my wife.

Saddest shit I've heard all day.
Sorry man. 

I want to recommend a few movies, but I can't back them up with convincing testimony. 

I loathe that movie and Lost In Translation.
NOTHING HAPPENED IN EITHER MOVIE!!!!!!

It was a character study you fool. 

Saddest shit I've heard all day.

You have received your daily requirements of "No fucking way" yet?

<3 wigz 

Seen the original?

No. No I have not. And now realizing that this movie has been made before I am convinced that it didn't need to be made again and that Hollywood is completely fucking out of ideas.

Saddest shit I've heard all day.
Sorry man. 

Its O.K. man. Really. I entered a substance treatment program before we went to the theater. It was the kind of program where I treated myself to lots of substances so I was carrying a tight 40 dollar buzz. 

No. No I have not. And now realizing that this movie has been made before I am convinced that it didn't need to be made again and that Hollywood is completely fucking out of ideas.

Exactly. And especially with J. Lo and Gere. Gimme a break.

/nell carter 

It was a character study you fool.

Well then they should have said in the trailer:
"ONLY ARTSY FARTSY PSEUDO INTELLECTUALS WILL LIKE THIS MOVIE!"
Instead of giving the piece of shit a million awards. 

"ONLY ARTSY FARTSY PSEUDO INTELLECTUALS WILL LIKE THIS MOVIE!"
Instead of giving the piece of shit a million awards.

Don't worry, man. I hear Steven Segal's in the sequel. 

Exactly. And especially with J. Lo and Gere. Gimme a break.

There was a recent South Park where Cartman was dressed as a robot called Awesome-o and he came up with thousands of shitty movie ideas. ANY of them would have worked better than this steaming log. 

There was a recent South Park where Cartman was dressed as a robot called Awesome-o and he came up with thousands of shitty movie ideas.

Man that was great. 

Well then they should have said in the trailer:
"ONLY ARTSY FARTSY PSEUDO INTELLECTUALS WILL LIKE THIS MOVIE!"

I will definitely give you that.